About me

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I grew up on an acreage near Ames, Iowa, and lived in central Iowa most of my life- a midwestern girl.    In August of 2022 I decided to start a new and wonderful journey to Southern California – a dream I’d had since I was a young girl!  And now, after meeting the love of my life, I find myself living in Marin County - The San Francisco Bay area - and I celebrate each day with grace and thanks-giving!

Here I share my final caring path – one of an end-of-life educator, transition coach, death doula. How did I come to this after working in the field of human services for almost 40 years? 

Two things stand out…

Many years ago – in the mid-90’s, I met a woman named Leanne. She was from North Carolina, and she also worked with my mentor, my guru, Michael Smull. Leanne had created a workbook of sorts for people with disabilities who were terminally ill - a booklet that guided people through the very personal end-of-life decisions – the who, what, where and how of a person’s very last days. I have never forgotten that workbook and the interest that it piqued.

Then, 6 years ago, I was invited to an End-of-Life Celebration for a woman named Marti. She was dying of cancer and wanted to celebrate her life with all her family and friends BEFORE she died. I didn’t know Marti very well – she was a member of a bicycle club I was attending but she’d been sick most of the time I was in the club, so I’d only met her a couple times. The gathering was amazing! Potluck, beer, live music, stories, 100 people! Towards the end, her family shared a video of Marti's life highlights. They spoke of special memories with Marti and had an interactive spiritual service. It was sad to know that Marti wouldn’t be with us much longer, but it was such a joyous occasion to celebrate her and the beautiful life she lived! That Sunday afternoon, with Marti surrounded by all her family and friends to celebrate her life the way she wanted, had such an impact on me! Everyone deserves this special gift of life’s celebration!!
  

I’d explored the possibility of becoming a birth doula – years ago after my grandson was born - not going beyond the action of research. But my experience with Marti’s celebration of life; the long interest in Leanne’s end-of-life workbook; and the cumulation of death experiences with my parents, friends, and relatives pushed me out of my comfort zone and into a realm that truly speaks to my heart – that provides yet another opportunity for “Fire in the belly” – of purpose, of meaning. That of end-of-life coach, life planning specialist – death doula.

And you say, “Death? Do we have to?”

And I say, “Yes, we do. 

Let’s talk about it. 

Let’s plan for it.”

Believe me…. I haven’t always been okay with death. In fact, I still have quite a ways to go to fully be in touch with my own mortality and to accept the fact tomorrow could be my very last day. We all will take that one last breath. Some of us will only have a split second and it will be over. The rest of us may be given the gift of time to say good-bye. But we can ALL make the choice to plan for our end-of-life, now. Planning that will take the stress and regret off ourselves as well as our family and friends. Decisions about all aspects of end-of-life, DONE. 

It really is an incredible feeling to have these decisions made and written down in legal format.  Of course, my end-of-life plan will always be a work in process as my journey continues each day I may be given. But, if tomorrow I become incapacitated and unable to speak, my family and friends will not have the burden of making decisions for me, because I already made them (Medical Advocate/ Medical Power of Attorney; Advanced Care Directives/Five Wishes Document; decisions on DNR and feeding tubes; healing vs. comfort care; specifics on the caring environment; my bedside care).

 And when my very last tomorrow comes and I take my very last breath - my family can relax because I have my living trust completed and burial decision made; my obituary and eulogy written.  My celebration of life hand-out done along with the music list and all contact information for invitees. It’s all done. For my family. For my friends. For ME.

I have spent most of my career advocating for quality of life for people with developmental disabilities --always pushing the system so they could have true choice and control over their own life decisions…...about how THEY wanted to LIVE!! 

I’ve come full circle. I am here to advocate for you, guide you, coach you, and support you in this very essential life planning, as well as provide care for you and your family at your END-of-life.  Let's DANCE!